Instructions: How To Make The BEST PB&J Sandwich EVER

Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches have been the poor man’s crown jewel for decades. This traditionally decadent culinary art has been the salvation for many starving college students since sliced bread. Crafting such an exquisite delicacy requires prudence and tact, as well as an apt array of materials.

STEP 1: Acquire Materials

The following items can be found at your local department store:

  • 1 jar of Jiff’s Creamy Organic Peanut Butter
  • 1 jar of Welch’s Grape Jelly
  • 1 loaf of Whole-Grain Wonder-bread
  • 1 Toaster
  • 1 Plate
  • 2 Butter knives

First things first, inventory your cabinets/culinary gear to see what materials you already have and which you need to buy. With any luck, the toaster, plate, and butter knives are standard necessities for every kitchen. Maybe you can borrow your roommates gear otherwise. Carefully inventory what you have, and purchase what you have not. Once all of your ingredients are acquired, you are ready for step two.

STEP 2: Prepping The Arts (the Bread)

Lay out your ingredients on the prepping counter in the following order: peanut butter, butter knife, jelly, butter knife, loaf, plate, toaster. Grab the loaf of Wonder-bread. Carefully untwist the twisty tie, placing said twisty tie in between your teeth. Open the bag and remove 3 (yes, three) pieces of bread from the bag. Place the three slices on the plate to your right. Grab the bag and remove the twisty tie from your teeth, fastening shut the bag of Wonder-bread securely. Once securely shut, place the loaf of bread up in the cupboard for future food sculpting. Now let’s move onto the goods.

STEP 3: Prepping the Arts (the Goods)

Now that our bread is ready for arts, we must prepare the “Goods” (also known as spreads). We will start with the peanut-butter. Grab the jar of peanut-butter in your left hand. Holding the jar upright, place your right hand over the cap and firmly grasp. Twist the cap counterclockwise until it can be safely removed and placed on the counter near the plate. Place the now opened jar of peanut-butter back in its place on the prepping counter.

Repeat the previous procedure for the jar of jam.

Now that our materials are prepped and ready for art, we can begin.

STEP 4: The Secret Toasted Slice

Grab one of the wonder-slices and place it in one of the toaster oven slots. Make sure your toaster is plugged into the nearest power source, and toast the piece of bread for two to two and a half minutes. Remove the toasted slice from the toaster and place it on the plate.

STEP 5: Get Jamming

Take the butter-knife nearest to the Jelly and plunge the knife into the jam. Scoop a chunk of jam with the butter-knife and place the scoop on an untoasted slice of bread. Spread the jam with the knife in a smooth motion until the face of the slice is covered entirely. Repeat this step once more to the other slice of bread.

Once both slices are jammed, replace the cap back on the jelly jar, and put it back into storage.

STEP 6: Peanut Butter meets toasted slice.

So now in front of you, you should have two slices of untoasted bread that are covered in jelly and one plain toasted piece.

Take the butter-knife nearest to the peanut-butter and plunge the knife into the spread. Scoop a chunk of peanut-butter with the butter-knife and place the scoop on the toasted slice of bread. Spread the the peanut-butter with the knife in a smooth motion until the face of the slice is covered entirely. Pick up the toasted slice and place it on top of one of the jam-covered slices with the peanut buttered side facing down. Now remove another scoop of peanut-butter with the butter-knife and spread it on the unscathed toasted sliced that you’ve just stacked atop the the jam-slice. Now replace the cap to the peanut-butter jar and place it in storage.

Once the toasted slice is spread (having both of its faces covered in peanut-butter), pick up the final untoasted jam-slice. Place the final slice atop of the other two slices making sure the jelly face is facing down to meet with the peanutbutter that rests atop the stack.

STEP 7: Peanut-Butter-Jelly-Time

Place that sandwich on the plate provided. Throw those knives into the sink for washing. Give thanks to the Lord for your culinary artwork. Stuff your face.

Top 5 Must Have Fashion Pieces for Spring 2014

Top 5 Must Have Fashion Pieces for Spring 2014

  1. Tea Length Skirts

Elegant and classic, these tea length skirts are sure to make you dazzle during any night out, or a simple spring picnic in the park.

tea length skirt

glamour.com

2. Floral

Floral is flirty and fun on any piece! The enticing and colorful display is not too shabby either. It is recommended that this season that you take a walk through the garden of chic.

floral dress

gurlinterrupted.com

3. Pastels

Put on your shades! These girly hues shine especially bright this spring season. Not only is it fabulous with apparel, but it is encouraged for your accessories that you rock, to consist of these shades, too!

pastel

gurlinterrupted.com

4. Oversized Shirts

Break out your leggings, because you are still going to need them with the continuing and brilliant trend of oversized shirts making a reappearance this season. What do you have to lose (besides the chunky winter scarf?)

oversize chambray

Google Images

5. Geometric Prints

Keep your mind spinning with this fabulously chic trend of geometric prints! Perfect for a spring shopping stroll or a casual date, this piece will be sure to sweetly tease the brain of fashion buffs everywhere around you.

geometric print

Google Images

Instructions: How to Move from Crow to Scorpion Position

Yoga stretches help with flexibility, breathing, blood pressure, relaxation and attention. The flow from crow into scorpion pose demands patience, strength and balance. It may take days to months to achieve, but the benefits are innumerable.

Position 1: Crow

Begin in a deep squat. Position your arms parallel to your knees on the floor. Reach them far enough out that your knees begin to touch beneath your armpits. Slowly raise yourself off the floor by pressing up on your toes. Feel the distribution of your weight as you shift your knees up firmly onto your arms. Receive the weight of yourself through your arms and tuck your abdomen in. It is sometimes easier to bring your feet together behind you. Practice this until you can easily breathe smoothly and hold this position.

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Position 2: Tripod

Slowly bring your head close to the floor. To keep from falling forward, use your abdomen to tighten and lower you. Keep your legs tucked close until you have successfully placed your head on the floor, forming a tripod. Move your knees to the ends of your elbows.

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Position 3: Headstand

Using your abs, bring your feet above you. Do this slowly so you can feel the distribution of your weight.  Remember to breathe. If you find this more difficult, you can do one leg at a time.

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Position 4: Forearm stand

Gradually, raise your head as you bring your forearms down flat on the floor. This may be easier to do one arm at a time. Take a deep breath, tighten your core into your spine, keeping your body strong and push your body up into a forearm stand. Press down on your arms as you finish shifting all your weight from your head to your shoulders and arms. Breathe deeply and hold as you feel your new position.

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Position 5: Scorpion

Widen your shoulders as you begin to gently bring your legs down behind you. Loosen your hips, softly arch your back and reach your feet to the floor. You will feel the stretch through your neck, arms, abs, back and legs. Move carefully and don’t push yourself too far. When you feel you are ready to come out of the position you may choose to tighten your core and raise your legs, coming back into forearm stand and tripod, or you may choose to drop your feet further to the floor and fall into bridge pose. 

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Take your time doing each position. It isn’t about the speed, but about the accuracy and feel. 

The Top 3 Ways to Have No Success in the NFL

Now that I got invited to this page, here it is

Minneapolis Music

In the past 10 years, between three teams, there have had 21 top 10 draft picks with virtually no production for the teams on which they were drafted.  These three teams are the graveyards of the NFL.  Even with some of the top prospects coming in, these teams find virtually no success, and they tend to kill all of the talent that is brought in.  Let us begin.

3. Be Drafted By The Cleveland Browns

The Cleveland Browns have had six top 10 draft picks in the past 10 years.  In other words, the Browns have only finished out of the bottom 10 teams in the league four of the six times in the past 10 years.  Ouch.

A few years ago, I could have put the Browns at number one, but they have drafted well lately, and I finally can recognize names like Joe Haden and Joe Thomas despite…

View original post 504 more words

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7 Signs you are a Minnesota Timberwolves fan

It’s not easy to be a Minnesota sports fan. The Vikings perennially break hearts, the Twins have had one of the worst records in the majors for the last few, and the Wild have had limited postseason success since entering the NHL in 2001. But the worst Minnesota team to be a fan of is the Timberwolves. Other than a mildly successful stretch in the mid 2000s with Kevin Garnett, the team has been one of the worst teams in the NBA from year to year with little hope of improving. Some of the problem has been mismanagement (Kevin McHale or David Kahn as GM anyone?), but the team has also failed to develop good players and keep them on the team. Rumors have been flying for over a year about Kevin Love fleeing as soon as his contract expires in 2015. After the team has failed to meet expectations and players haven’t developed as planned (looking at you, Ricky Rubio and your 36% shooting) the team is looking like it is time for yet another rebuild. Here are 7 ways to know if you are a true Timberwolves fan.

1. You have a second team. 

So you’re tired of watching the Timberwolves finish 30 games out of playoff contention? No problem! Choose another team and back them with even more confidence and see the results pay off with titles. What a novel idea to Minnesota sports teams.

Source: ESPN Images

2. The Good Old Days were perennial 1st round exits

The Timberwolves were eliminated in the 1st round 7 straight times from 1997-2003. Most of us would kill to just make the playoffs now.

Source: USA Today

3. You know what this means. 

Good riddance David Kahn.

4. You dread the trade deadline because it could mean the end of the Love era

Please don’t leave, Kevin. You’re our only hope (for the next 5 years).

From: Yahoo Sports

5. You remember when the Wolves got Darko and there was hope (for one game)

I was at that game. The crowd chanted his name, then Kahn made the mistake of paying him $5 million a season, later using the amnesty clause to get out of his albatross of a contract. There were once brighter days, Darko.

Source: SI.com

6. You still love KG even though he’s been gone 7 years. 

KG forever.

Source: dancingwithwolves.com

7. You’ll always have hope, even when the grass is greener anywhere else. 

Source: The Score

Rubio for 2020 MVP!

9 Ways You Know You’re Ready to Graduate College

1. Staying up late, being broke, and making poor decisions have stopped being jokes.

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2. You knew better than to purchase all the textbooks

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3. You have a countdown to graduation: Only 85 days left!

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4. You may feel that some professors have it in for you.

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5. Your senior project and bed have interchangeably been referred to as your “New Best Friend.”

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6. You’ve actually calculated how much you’ll owe in 6 months. And you may have cried about it.

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7. Freshmen seem like freaks made out of energy and optimism. But you don’t warn them; they’ll understand soon enough.

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 8. You mostly understand your work philosophy.

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9. You realize that through it all, these will be some of the best years of your life.

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6 Signs You Are Done With Winter

Winter: No one is totally immune

1. You could single-handedly end world hunger with the amount of money you spend on hot substances. cappuccino-65787_640

Coffee, tea, hot chocolate, soup, Panini sandwiches, pizza, potpies, burritos, cheeseburgers… need I go on?

You’ll spend whatever it takes just to feel your fingers again.

2. You secretly hope no one notices how many layers you are wearing.

 child-215331_640Yes, I am wearing two undershirts, four layering shirts, a vest, jacket, outer jacket, two scarves, hat and mittens so I can hope to feel my fingers again. My legs are fine though.

3. You decide to double major in becoming an astronaut so you’ll be able to see the sun again.winter-63801_640

The sun still exists right? Did it take a vacation? BecauseI miss it. A lot. Seriously, though WHERE IS THE SUN. I NEED IT TO FEEL MY FINGERS AGAIN.

4. You spend more time in traffic when it snows then you do with your friends on any given week.

snow-170131_640On the bright side I can feel my fingers when the heat is on high.

5. You tell yourself it’s okay to eat all the time because it will keep you warm.

cheese-164872_640Which is a lie… but cookies and pizza and Starbucks! Gotta keep those fingers warm.

6. Everyday is a struggle between praying for warmer weather or colder weather.

Warmer weather – life is happier; colder weather – you can stay inside and do nothing. Either way, 90 percent of your prayers are about the weather, and 10 percent are about your fingers.

sochi-2014-262145_640But once you have your tea and your soup, and are wearing an extra large sweater and scarf, and are enjoying the warmth of a heated room you really do enjoy moments like watching the Winter Olympics – just to see other people freeze their fingers off.

Except for this year. Darn Sochi.